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Advanced Snake Oil

Postby mesherm » Wed May 28, 2008 10:01 am

http://www.machinadynamica.com/machina60.htm

OK, I have seen it all now. This has to be the height of snake oil sales.
They don't even have to sell you a cheap clock or a jar of rocks. Just plunk down $60, get a phone call and instant audio AND video upgrade.
Old PT would be proud as punch!
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Uri Geller's Magic Psychic Spoon-Bending Audio Upgrade

Postby EWBrown » Wed May 28, 2008 11:16 am

I suppose that the next incarnation of this is the "Psychic Teleportation Audio Upgrade", just get some itenerant carnival gypsy "palm readers" to figure this one out. Or perhaps some phony stage "psychic" or magician to perform the secret incantations and arcane rituals.

Hmmm, might be a good "retirement" project for me to start on :o Yellow_Light_Colorz_PDT_08 Yellow_Light_Colorz_PDT_03 Yellow_Light_Colorz_PDT_09 :o ommmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.....

Anybody want to buy a Psychotronic Cosmologic Transdimensional Moonbat Gronkulator ? ;) (666) $)

/ed B
Last edited by EWBrown on Tue Feb 12, 2013 8:35 pm, edited 4 times in total.
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Postby soundbrigade » Wed May 28, 2008 11:26 am

You mean this is a hoax??!! Yellow_Light_Colorz_PDT_13 That the 60 bucks I just spent is .... spent on nothing????

You can't be kidding. I think my cables (I tested the tweak on my cables as I just have bought a big Shakti-stone for my CD-player) sound much better now - even when I have my speakers disconnected!!! Yellow_Light_Colorz_PDT_09
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Postby Ty_Bower » Wed May 28, 2008 12:08 pm

Hah. That's old news. I've got a $120 tweak I can send to you over the phone. It's twice as good as the other guy's tweak.
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General Broadcast from Nigeria Spam 101

Postby EWBrown » Wed May 28, 2008 12:52 pm

Dear Sir or Madam,

Hello, my name is Prince Mobutu, Third Prelate of the Great and Powerful Mandinka Tribe, and you just may be a long-lost, distant relative of mine, and you may be eligible to inherit a large share of my considerable and vast snake-oil distilling fortune. Please send me your bank account number, social security number, date of birth, and the type of tube amplifier(s) that you may possess, and you will be handsomely rewarded!

Right now, I am sending positive and loving "vibes" to all of your audio systems. Please remit $120.00, along with the above requested information, and then your system will magically sound better, and you will feel better for having done it it Yellow_Light_Colorz_PDT_05 Yellow_Light_Colorz_PDT_07 Yellow_Light_Colorz_PDT_02 Yellow_Light_Colorz_PDT_01 Yellow_Light_Colorz_PDT_03 Yellow_Light_Colorz_PDT_04 Yellow_Light_Colorz_PDT_08 Yellow_Light_Colorz_PDT_06 Yellow_Light_Colorz_PDT_16

Your friend, in peace and prosperity,

Prince Mobotu, Third Prelate, of the Great and Powerful Mandinka Tribe
Last edited by EWBrown on Mon Jul 07, 2008 2:38 pm, edited 2 times in total.
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Postby DerekVa » Wed May 28, 2008 2:30 pm

It's good to see Miss Cleo has found a new gig.
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Postby DerekVa » Wed May 28, 2008 2:42 pm

Actually, this reminds me of something at VSAC 2008. Specifically, I was in the Exemplar Audio room and front & center in their room was a big-ass crystal. I asked what it was (since it was actually quite pretty) and was told that it was a blend of amethyst and citrine (basically, quartz) from Brazil. I mentioned that it added to the (visual) ambience of the room and was told in no uncertain terms that it was there to improve the sound of the room - specifically that it was the reason the system sounded so good. :o

I almost responded with a 'Gee, it couldn't be this nice collection of front-horns and single-ended amplification, could it?' but thought better of it.

Excuse me. I have to go install cable escalators and magic cuckoo clocks in my system now.

-D
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Postby Ty_Bower » Wed May 28, 2008 2:53 pm

Every so often I stop and wonder how I might feel if maybe, someday in the great ever after, I find out they WERE right. Like, those crystals and bags of pebbles and telepathic phone calls actually DID do something to somehow make it sound better.

Usually, the feeling passes quickly...
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Postby DerekVa » Thu May 29, 2008 12:53 pm

DerekVa wrote:Actually, this reminds me of something at VSAC 2008. Specifically, I was in the Exemplar Audio room and front & center in their room was a big-ass crystal. I asked what it was (since it was actually quite pretty) and was told that it was a blend of amethyst and citrine (basically, quartz) from Brazil. I mentioned that it added to the (visual) ambience of the room and was told in no uncertain terms that it was there to improve the sound of the room - specifically that it was the reason the system sounded so good. :o


Hey, look, here it is!
Image

(Photo Source: 6 Moons Audio)

-D
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Postby EWBrown » Fri May 30, 2008 7:33 am

I'll wait for the Vulcans or Klingons to arrive and make first contact, and share their high-tech audio "secrets" with us Yellow_Light_Colorz_PDT_04 Yellow_Light_Colorz_PDT_02 Yellow_Light_Colorz_PDT_09 :o Yellow_Light_Colorz_PDT_01 Yellow_Light_Colorz_PDT_08

/ed B
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Postby soundbrigade » Fri May 30, 2008 8:51 am

BUT, EW Brown, when I used to read SF novels I was so confused. All those spaceships speeding around at 10 times lightspeed, warping thorugh wormholes and blasting the nasty Aliens in pieces by the most devilish weapons and still the commands coming rasping or rattling thorugh the spaceships' intercom system.
Shortly the problem of sound reproduction will NEVER EVER be solved.
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Postby WA4SWJ » Fri May 30, 2008 11:03 am

They probably sold more crystals than amplifiers that weekend.

I wonder if the sound quality varies with the square of the distance that the crystal travels away from the amplifier or speakers or those magic cables?

I just saw in the new Indiana Jones movie that a crystal skull can keep ants away. Maybe that's what it does with harmful sounds. They just deflect around it.

Yellow_Light_Colorz_PDT_16
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Postby nyazzip » Sun Jun 01, 2008 10:16 pm

freaking west coast hippies and their crystals...
i was in tucson not too long ago and i walked into a crystal shop (hey, they were pretty. it was dark, and they were bored out and had tea light candles planted in them....they looked identical to the one posted)and the shopkeep tried to give me the mystical "healing/ energy" sales mumbo-jumbo. i had consumed a few cocktails by that point, so i let her know i believed she was full of sh**, albeit in slightly nicer language.
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Postby dhuebert » Mon Jun 02, 2008 7:22 am

I was in just that sort of shop on Vancouver Island a few years ago. I picked up a piece of calcite to show my mother how it refracted the two polarities of light differently when a sales agent came over and started to explain "healing energies" etc. Mom and I looked at each other and proceded on to the next shop.

"One should doubtless keep an open mind, but, like the food pipe it should be open at both ends and have a means of excretion."

Northrop Frye


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Postby DerekVa » Tue Jun 17, 2008 10:24 am

Yet another one...

http://www.pcpro.co.uk/news/205620/the- ... cable.html

A $500.99 (at current exchange rates) 1.5m network cable for 'digital audio enthusiasts'.

Better yet is the Amazon listing - check the 'Tags Customers Associate with This Product' and read the (highly amusing) reviews: http://www.amazon.com/Denon-AKDL1-Dedic ... 544&sr=8-6

Oy.

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