Advanced Snake Oil

[nyazzip]

oooh, a new descriptor for the audiophile lexicon: "jitter". i like it. my new(old) traynor guitar amp has just enough jitter. not too much, not too little. thank god, because i have yet to see any $500 guitar cables on the market that would remedy the jitter problem, if ever it reared its ugly head.

[cartoonweirdo]

Jitter is a real beast, and it does sound terrible. Needless to say the $500 cable will have no effect on it. Perhaps a $500 clock for all you digital devices? Luckily enough, your Traynor will never have any trouble with it.

[nyazzip]

here is some magic compound you presumably wipe all over your CDs, DVDs, connectors, and all the solder joints in your rigs.....i only had to read a couple sentences before i ran upon the nebulous descriptor known as "soundstage". he hee. in my experience, as soon as you see or hear the phrase "soundstage", you can sign off right there- you've entered the Mystical Crystal Zone, where all empirical data, rational thought, engineering theory, known and provable physics, or healthy skepticism is thrown out the window.
what ever happened to good old "stereo separation", anyway...?

http://www.walkeraudio.com/sst1.htm

[EWBrown]

Dilithium Crystals, that's the magic ticket to sonic nirvana Yellow_Light_Colorz_PDT_04 Yellow_Light_Colorz_PDT_08

NC has lots of snakes, both harmless and venomous (timber rattlers and copperheads) Maybe I can start up a real snake-oil distillery Yellow_Light_Colorz_PDT_05

/ed B in NC / NH /NC / NH ...

[EWBrown]

snake oil and audiophoolery 101: (from a ham radio friend of mine)

It means that the rin-tin-tin-tambulation of the sound stage
is dynachromatically bifurcated with the sub-phasic
harmonic overtones, creating multi-rythmic
wanker doodledumkins, without negative feedback.


That will be $400 each, please.

No, just what happens when hams see prices of tubes inflating beyond all
reason.....


/ed B in transition

[Gingertube]

My favourite is still the DVD re-winder.
Cheers,
Ian

[erichayes]

Ed, send me your new SN address if you would, please, via PM.

73

[EWBrown]

PM sent... I pulled a "dopey dilbert" and posted it here briefly , for a few seconds, B4 I "nuked" it...

/ed B

[soundbrigade]

snake oil and audiophoolery 101: (from a ham radio friend of mine) ...

At least in Sweden, ham radiots use something called antenna wax which they smear their antennas with to enhance transmission/reception of radiosignals.
You don't use that oversea?? Yellow_Light_Colorz_PDT_03

[EWBrown]

No, we just use triple distilled rattlesnake liver oil or organic unicorn grease, these more appropriately fit the local climactic conditions Yellow_Light_Colorz_PDT_04 Yellow_Light_Colorz_PDT_08

Tortiose milk is also reputed to work quite well, but it is very expensive.

/ed B

[soundbrigade]

Paper?? http://www.stillpoints.us/ers_fabric.html

[Hotsauce]

ERS paper does have an effect. Its 2 sheets of tyvek like paper with a layer of non woven carbon fibers betwen them.

The fibers are conductive, and will short out something if the edges contact live circuits.

My guess is that Faraday Effect is at work.


John C.

[soundbrigade]

But I guess a metal chassis works better. It's like using a bicycle wheel as umbrella.

[EWBrown]

The topic of Sonic Snake Oil once again arose over at NNETG, and here is my latest bit of herpetological humor referring to that much abused and maligned subject

In the world of marketing, the name can make or break the product.

Canola Oil, for instance, is really Rape Seed Oil. Now, we all know, "Rape Oil" would sell about as well as pork chops in Mecca...

So someone came up with the name Canola (Canada Oil).

So, I propose that Audio Snake Oil could also be known as Serpola. (Serpent Oil).

Kinda fits in with brand names like Radiola or Victrola, too.

Just another late mid-morning's ramblings...

/ed B in NC

Without a pit to hiss in

[EWBrown]

Here is a vintage bottle of real snake oil. A snake was put in the bottle, along with some unknown liquid, back in the 1880s.

A bottle collector dug it in Oregon, up in 2007, and found that it contained an unexpected surprise:



and a closeup of the snake within the bottle:



I suspect that the bottle was filled to the top, back in the 1880s, and that in the intervening 120+ years, it slowly leaked out most of its rather noxious contents.

/ed B